The tyranny of the urgent.

Life is short. There are important things to do, but the “urgent” things often attempt to crowd out the important. Outside of work these conflicts are easier to manage. I’ve found a couple of ways to divert an attack of the urgent.

First:

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

I have this saying on a small 3 x 5 postcard that I keep behind me on my personal workplace bulletin board. Just because somebody asks you to do something, doesn’t mean you have to do it. "No" is an option. I’ll often say, “Let me think about it. I’m in the middle of something important.” Or a real show stopper is “Can you put that request in writing. That way I’ll know just what you’re asking for.” Usually that works, but not always, so I have a plan B:





Second:

If you want it bad, I’ll give it to you bad.
If you want it real bad, I’ll give it to you real bad.
How bad do you want it?

Anyone who has read my blog for long knows that I’m a bit of a smart-aleck. That personal attribute carries over into real life, or vice-versa. As a result I’m able to use the above quip fairly effectively without being offensive. It often helps me fend off unreasonable requests.




Third:

I do however get called upon to drop what I’m doing and do something urgent, but not important. I may try a bit of negotiation, but then I do it. I do have bosses, and they have bosses. Reason only goes so far. ;-)

But… I’ve found that because I use the first two options, I end up doing less of the third.

Another result of fending off unrealistic urgent requests is that I have time to do what’s important and be available to those who genuinely need my help. Sometimes my urgent help. But it’s not automatic. I have learned to manage “the tyranny of the urgent.”

Personal Proverbs... When in a hole...

Personal Proverbs... Words to live by... Favorite sayings... or General Systems Laws...

Potato, Potato.

These are the short sayings by which I navigate life...

When in a hole, quit digging.

This pithy remark is useful, especially for men. We have a tendency to say the wrong thing. You know... Open mouth; insert foot.

But then we make matters worse. We keep talking. Guys! Listen to me. Don’t keep talking! You know you're in trouble. You can see it in their faces. You're in hole! Just remember this:

When in a hole, quit digging.

Quit digging? You don't understand? (Okay, this is for my guys out there: Shut up. Zip it.) It will only get worse if you keep talking. You’ve already put yourself in a hole, so quit digging it deeper.

Cough, look across the room and pretend you see something. Change the subject. Ask if anyone has seen a good movie lately? Or... back away slowly from the group... muttering if needed... "Bathroom..." or "Another beer..." or Nothing at all.

When in a hole, quit digging.

Shhh... God whispers!

God speaks my language. He speaks your’s too, but you have to listen.

Once upon a time, God spoke to a man named Elijah. Elijah was bummed out, running for his life, and hiding in a cave. Then something amazing happened… God spoke…

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

God whispers. Are you listening? Am I?

My racquetball partner of three years moved away, but yesterday she was back in town so we played. It was sooooo fun. (I won the first three games, then she won the last two.) We played almost two hours of indoor racquetball. Just like old times.

As we were parting ways in the parking lot, she mentioned to me that her other local former racquetball partner was still interested in playing me.

I had turned the offer down some months ago, but then… a still small voice… I remembered my own post from several days ago about the man on the roof in the flood. The man drowned because he missed the opportunities God sent his way. He wasn’t listening. But now… I was…

Hmmm… I’ve been looking for a racquetball partner, and a friend of a friend wants to play… Duh! I said, “Sure, e-mail me her e-mail address, and I’ll play.”

I may be slow… but I am listening. I'm listening for the still, small voice of God – the Whisperer. The one who speaks my language.

Some of my fellow bloggers sometimes say, “…it must be a sign!” I don’t look for signs, but I do listen for whispers. Maybe some see signs, others dream dreams, others read the Bible and listen. Some do all of the above. But God knows how to speak your language.


Here’s a final example. A man named Nathanael came to see Jesus…
When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."
"How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.


Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."

Whoa? What happened? Jesus says a few words to Nathanael, and Nathanael is converted. What happened? Jesus spoke Nathanael’s language. I don’t get it, but Nathanael did.

God who formed the ear knows how to speak. God who formed my ear knows how to speak to me. (And you too.) Shhh… listen…

Happy Sunday!

Affirmations: Life's a POOGI.

I mentioned in an earlier post that many of my internal conflicts result from having some goals that are at cross-purpose, so I wrote this one…

My goals are meaningful and in keeping with my core beliefs and values.

This assumes I’ve spent the time identifying my core beliefs and values, which I have. This affirmation helps me set the mark of the kind of person I want to be: genuine, transparent, and consistent. This affirmation helps me guard against hypocrisy as well.

Another problem I’ve encountered in life is trying to do too much at once. I protect myself from this now via this simple affirmation:

I enjoy moving forward towards my goals at a sustainable pace.



I also want to be a life long learner. I like being productive and achieving goals, but I’ve learned that often the journey is its own reward. So I wrote this enigmatic affirmation:

My life is an enjoyable POOGI.

The puzzle is clear to those who have read business guru Eli Goldratt’s books including: The Goal, It’s Not Luck, etc. He defines POOGI as a Process Of On Going Improvement.

Several years ago I designed and taught a junior high elective that I called Creativity and Design. The class motto was twofold: 1) Life’s a POOGI! And 2) CPSrs for life! (Creative Problem Solvers for life!). One of life’s pleasures is to walk down a hallway of a suburban junior high and have a group of three girls smile, pump their fists in the air and chant… “Mr. Evans; We’re CPSrs for life!”

Me too, and these three affirmations help keep me on course.

Affirmations: I enjoy living well...

I enjoy living well and prospering, now and in the future.



Why is the big toe important? It enables one to maintain balance. The following affirmation helps me maintain a balance in my world of personal finance. There were several years when I led my family into being a bit-cash strapped because I wanted to eliminate all personal debt, including my home mortgage. Hmmm... Why attempt that?

"...owe no man anything..." echoed in my mind. But another thought held a counter-reverberation, "...if any man care not for his own family..." Which was right?




Both perhaps, but they needed a balance point for personal application. I challenged some of my beliefs about debt, wealth, giving, saving, and present personal contentment. The result of this exploration of beliefs?




Balance: I enjoy living well and prospering, now and in the future.

I go out to eat with my wife once or twice a week, but at a very affordable restaurant. I usually pay off credit cards monthly (in full). I have a mortgage (eight years left on it). Balance. Responsible for the future without overdoing it. Enjoying the present, without overdoing it.

I have a budget and use it (Mvelopes -- check it out.) I rarely worry about bills. If I want some extras I'll sometimes pick up a summer job (but I don't have to. I'm budgeted for non-work summers.)

Many times stress for me comes by holding conflicting internal values. Balance is what helps. More on that... tomorrow.




In reviewing the post above, I think I've given the big-picture, but I wanted to supply some details. Here are some supplemental affirmations I use in the area of financial self-perception:

I feel good being fiscally intelligent.
My spending and savings plans are balanced.
I'm reducing debt and building wealth.
I enjoy supplementing and stretching my annual teaching salary.
I am wealthy enough to retire when I choose to.

Theses affirmations also serve as "work-orders" to my subconscious, the place where habits are managed. They serve as unconscious navigation instructions to direct the "self-guided torpedo" I call "me."

Affirmations: A Lightening Rod for Goodwill

Once upon a time, I felt unloved. I had people who loved me, but I felt unloved. Why?

At least one reason for these feelings was how I saw myself. I pictured myself as a "friendless American male." I had read the phrase and had appropriated it. I felt that it fit me. (It didn't, but I took on the self-image anyway.)

After reading Pscho-Cybernetics I began to look for false beliefs that I held. In a conversation with my wife she pointed out to me that many people loved and respected me. I knew many people respected me, and then I could see that love is just a step beyond that. Her comments helped me become aware of my false belief and its resulting feelings, but that didn't remove the self-image and feelings. But something else did: an affirmation.

Here is the affirmation I came upon that helped me re-script my self-image and my feelings: "I am so happy and thankful that I am alive and well, gainfully employed, loved, respected, and appreciated."

Because of this affirmation I not only started feeling better, but I became more happy, thankful, loved, respected, and appreciated. I became a "lightening rod" for these realities. Call it body language, personal vibe, or whatever you want, but what we think about ourselves is projected: for better or worse.

Why not make it for better? Why not program yourself to become a lightening rod for goodwill? It'll put a smile on your face, a lilt in your step, and you'll discover that you are indeed well-loved. (And you'll feel like it too!)

Affirmations: I can reach my goals...

Two years ago this February I "met" an e-book entitled Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle. The author, Tom Venuto, achieved natural body-building success as a result of using habit-changing, potential-busting methods he learned reading Psycho-Cybernetics. I burned some fat (30 lbs.), but more importantly I learned some methods to overcoming self-limiting thought patterns. I was taught to question false beliefs about myself, like "I have a bad memory," and to reprogram my self-image via simple affirmations, such as "I enjoy learning and using memory strategies."

One of the biggest challenges I faced was defining who I wanted to be. Affirmations are almost self-scripted "prophecies." Often we self-sabotage ourselves based on who we think we are or are not. Why not turn that around and set ourselves up success by creating a positive self-image that we "auto-magically" live up to? I've been doing it and enjoying the results for almost two years.



I'm going to share a few of my affirmations in hopes of inspiring others to self-script themselves into liberating habits. I've uncovered a few false, self-imposed limiting ideas about myself. Many of these self-perceptions were "lies" told to me by others. Unchallenged, these untruths keep me from realizing more potential than I even knew I had. Go figure.


Over the months I created a set of affirmations addressing who I want to be... spirit, soul, and body. (They are personal, positive, present-tense, and laden with good feeling words.) Here is my number one affirmation...

I can reach my goals, but I can't reach them alone: I need God and others.

This affirmation causes me to see myself as a potential success. It acknowledges my inter-relatedness with others who Providentially appear to assist me on my way.

A story is told about a man who drowned in a flood. He sat on the roof of his house and prayed, "O God, please save me." Soon a neighbor in a rowboat came by and offered the man a ride, but he turned it down. "God is going to save me!" Later, an empty canoe floated by, but the man continued to "wait on God." Later, the waters rose and the man drowned.

In heaven the man protested to God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "I sent a neighbor, and I sent an empty boat! Why didn't you accept the help I offered?"


I can reach my goals, but I can't reach them alone: I need God and others.

Watch and pray. Pray and watch!




Another one of my goals is...

"I enjoy writing to inspire and instruct. I enjoy the feedback I get from the readers."

I wrote this one at least nine months ago. Long before I knew about blogging. Yet when I followed my daughter into the world of blogging... a goal was reached. Auto-magically! That's how it works. "The difficult made easy."


I can reach my goals, but I can't reach them alone: I need God and others.

Have a great day!