"Toyota hysteria"?

On March 9th, the Los Angeles Times published an OpEd piece that caught my eye. It was called "Toyota hysteria."

It's been almost a month since the article appeared, and some of the hoopla has subsided. Still, I think the article is relevant to life (and the Toyota "problem.")



I own and drive a Toyota. I've owned a Fiat, several Volkwagens (bugs and buses), a Vega, a Ford Aspire, a Jeep, a Chevy Cavalier, and a Honda CRV. I like my Toyota. It's the first new car I've ever owned.

My Corolla is not one of the many that were recalled, but all the news made me a bit worried.

I try not to over-react to things. I can recall my mom saying, "There are two sides to every story." I still try to get both sides before jumping to a conclusion.



As a result, I've learned to look a bit deeper into current affairs before I form an opinion. Knee-jerk reactions are the norm. Sometimes I prefer not being normal.

Some quotes from the Op-Ed piece I especially liked were:

1) "But what I am worried about, with the current avalanche of unintended-acceleration complaints against the company and the congressional hearings, is the hysteria promoted by sensationalist headlines and pompous government officials."

2) "To err is human; to blame errors on external factors is even more so."

3) ""Nobody wants to minimize any deaths Toyota defects may have caused," says Russ Rader of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. "But vehicle defects are just a tiny, tiny part of what leads to crashes.""

4) "So why the emphasis on mechanical defects above all else? Evans says it began with Ralph Nader and his 1965 book, "Unsafe at Any Speed." Today it's perpetuated by trial lawyers seeking the deepest pockets and a media that know it's sexier to crusade against corporations than emphasize individual responsibility."



And so we return again to the less sexy problem of individual responsibility. The author acknowledges Toyota's contribution to the current tragedy, but he also puts it into a larger perspective. It's easier to blame others, than to accept personal blame. It's easier to point a finger than to say, "My bad. Please forgive me."

And what are the author's qualifications for speaking to the Toyota hysteria:

1) He was involved in a serious crash in 1992 that ended in an out-of-court settlement with Toyota.

2) His wife, who was seriously injured in that crash, owns and drives a Toyota.

3) The author, Michael Fumento, "is director of the nonprofit Independent Journalism Project, where he specializes in health and safety issues."



The antidote to hysteria just might be good information from a reliable source.

Perhaps "truth" exists in both sides of a story. Hmmm... Something to think about.

Mr. Good Enough -- That's me!

I used to be a perfectionist. On a related note, I used to be disillusioned and somewhat depressed. I was idealist. I grew up in the 60's and 70's. But over time, I came to my senses, and I grew up some more.



In various degrees, in various settings, I've learned that "Good enough often is... good enough."

I dated and broke up with some very nice girls. But they weren't "perfect" for me. I'd like to say I wasn't as bad as the characters on Seinfeld, but the end result was the same. I was always finding some reason why they weren't quite "perfect."

Sometimes the girl broke my heart, sometimes, I broke hers. (It was probably more of a bruising than a breaking... it was all "young love." We were learning to love.)



Somewhere along the way, at about 20, I realized that I was looking for too much in a girl. Girls aren't God. They can't be expected to fill the deep emptiness of my soul: that's God's job.

I'm guessing that many women who are looking for Mr. Right suffer from a similar misconception: men aren't the end-all, be-all of existence. That's asking too much. (Not to say some guys aren't doing the same thing.)

I was recently reminded of all this when I came across an interview with the author of a new book called, "Marry Him, the case for settling for Mr. Good-enough." I read the interview, then I read the article in The Atlantic that preceded the book.

At about 20, I changed from looking for Mrs. Perfect, to "I think I need a wife." Within six months of that change of perspective, I'd met the girl. (Actually, I already knew her, I just hadn't recognized her as the one who would willingly commit to walking with me through the journey of life.) We married a year and a half later.

She had been engaged twice before, but had gotten "cold feet." This time, she looked at things differently, and made a commitment summed up in two words: "I do."



Eighteen years and three children later, she passed away after a six year bout with cancer. Did she settle for Mr. Good Enough? Some might say so.

But the night before she died, she said, "I'm so happy." (She also had just told me how much she loved me. We had grown to love each other deeply... over the course of time and life.)

We had "settled" on each other, and it was good.

In work, I was also perfectionist.

My mom used to say, "Good, better, best; never let it rest, until good is better, and better is best."



Then I met Rick Simmons, my computer programming boss. He told me, "Don, not everything needs to be a Cadillac. Sometimes a Chevrolet is good enough." I didn't like it at first, but he was right, and I was liberated: again. Perfection is a cruel task master.

These days, I aim to be "above average" or sometimes just "thoroughly adequate."

Perfection is over-rated and generally unattainable. If you're looking for Perfection, then find God. (That will release the rest of us from an unfair burden.)

A year after being widowed, I met a widow from New York. I was from California. We met via AOL. She was looking for some help in coping with the loss of her husband.



It all started very platonic... but over time... I came to realize that Leslie loved me, and that I loved Leslie. I hadn't even seen her picture yet; hadn't met her face-to-face; hadn't even gone on a date.

We were both in our 40's. We had both enjoyed good marriages. We knew what mattered and what didn't. We both knew Perfection was found in Another (God). We knew that Another could help us find "another," who was "good enough." We settled? (Actually, I proposed marriage, and she accepted!)

In December, Leslie and I will celebrate our 12th anniversary. We're happily married. You might call us, Mr. and Mrs. Good Enough.



* * * * *

My Cousin Buffie wrote us a wedding poem called,

"A Wedding Prayer for Don and Leslie."

As you start your life together
Through the grace of God, a second chance
For the Love and for the Laughter
And for the knowing glance.

May your Love shine bright forever.
Your two souls entwined in dance.
And your happiness be boundless
Through the grace of God, a second chance.

* * * *



I settled on a choice, Leslie. And Leslie settled on a choice, Don.
Mr. and Mrs. Good Enough -- living a life of "good enough" together.
Trying to be "above average" and "thoroughly adequate."
So far, so good -- because often -- Good enough is!

Pushing the envelope: He can dance!

I came across this video a while ago. I appreciate those who push the envelope. Some do it in sports, some in academia, and some do it in dance.

Here's a little mind boggling fun: He can dance!

Now go push some envelopes!

Sinus Enema Anyone?

Recently I got a cold. It's the second cold I've gotten this year. I think it's because I started two small reading groups with students. We share a round table. They sneeze, and I sometimes feel the breeze. (That can't be good.)

My colds used to progress into bronchitis. I seem to have halted that progression, but these last two colds have progressed into sinus infections. My body eventually fights these off, but the healing process is painfully slow: three to four weeks.

Some of my co-workers just say, "Do the drugs, Don."

But I'm a bit stubborn. I'm saving anti-bacterial medications for when I really need them.

One co-worker quietly recommended a Neti Pot. What's a Neti Pot? It's the equivalent of an sinus enema.

WebMD puts it this way, "If you're one of the millions of Americans dealing with chronic sinus problems, you know how miserable the headaches, facial pain, and clogged nasal passages can be. In their search for relief, many sinus sufferers have turned to nasal saline irrigation, a therapy that uses a salt and water solution to flush out the nasal cavity."

"Although several methods of nasal irrigation exist, one of the most popular is the Neti pot -- a ceramic pot that looks like a cross between a small teapot and Aladdin's magic lamp. Although nasal irrigation using the Neti pot has been around for centuries, its use is on the rise in the U.S., thanks to an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show and a fair amount of news coverage. The Neti pot originally comes from the Ayurvedic/yoga medical tradition."

Being fairly miserable, I decided to build my own Neti pot before I bought one. eHow told me how. I fashioned on out of a mid-sized, empty mustard squirt bottle. The nozzle-to-nose fit was not quite optimum, but it worked well enough to win me over.

I order a Neti pot called Rhino Horn via Amazon.com. It looks like this:



I've been using my Blue Rhino Horn for about two weeks. My sinus infection is 95% gone. Woo-hoo!

My nasal passages have never felt so clear. Once my infection is completely gone, I'll probably use the Rhino for general maintenance. It's great to have a tool to use once allergy season strikes me next October.

It's amazing what you can learn from people if you just listen to them. My co-worker quietly mentioned the Neti pot, and I'm so glad she did.

(Someone else mentioned ear candling, but that turned out to be a bad idea. I wasted a bit of money, but stopped short of using them. I should have done my research before I made the purchase. Oh well.)

So if you have sinus problems, I recommend a sinus enema, aka nasal saline irrigation. Whatever you call it... it rocks!

(I almost forgot. There are YouTube videos that show you how to use the Neti pot. I just found this one... note the wall behind them!)

Genuine Article or Hypocrite?

It's been a busy two weeks. Most of the writing I've done has been the required kind: Educational Histories of Students, Progress Report Summaries, and Individual Education Plans. But on a more interesting note... I came across a quote I liked:

“It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions;
it is easy in solitude to live after your own;
but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness
the independence of solitude.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson



Pondering the quote for a week or two, I've been challenged to carry more personal serenity and general calmness into my daily busy-ness. (And it has helped.)

I agree with Emerson that part of personal greatness is personal consistency. I admire that trait in others. I think it's a trait worth cultivating in myself as well.

My dad used to say, "Do as I say, not as I do."

This was uttered enough times to make an impact. It was often the final salvo in a match of wits, which he won.



It was not until years later I arrived at a proper rebuttal, "But Dad, that's hypocritical!"

(In my 60's/70's mentality, "Keeping it real" mattered.)

Social conventions and interpersonal skills do require us to use filters and act appropriately, but that still leaves plenty of room for being genuine.

Being fake, two-faced, or phony is not a good thing. (Nor is being rude, hurtful, or overly blunt.) Somewhere between the extremes lies a balance point of civility, reality, and honesty.

There are always pressures to conform in a crowd. Having an opinion is not always welcome, even if the opinion is just different, not contrary. Cultivating a sense of self strong enough to maintain individuality against the tide of conformity is difficult, but commendable.



The personal pendulum may swing occasionally into hypocrisy, but hopefully a little internal alarm goes off.

Recently I began watching "The Big Bang" TV series. At one point, Leonard clearly succumbs to blatant contradiction between personal opinion and voiced opinion. His friends are appalled. Sensing their disapproval, he turns to them and says, "What? You've never seen a hypocrite before?"



We all have. What I try to avoid is seeing one in the mirror.

Progress is a new horse.

I'm a teacher. Teachers are supposed to be change agents, that is, we try to get students to change. That's what education is: positive change, improvement. Call it, progress.

But most of us are what I call resistant learners, especially when it comes to trying new ways of doing things, new ways of learning, new processes for progress.

We may be dissatisfied with our rate of improvement, but we like our methods. Our old ways are comfortable, broken in, safe.



So a big part of my job is to entice students to try new ways of doing things: ways that work better than their old ways. It doesn't matter if we're talking about ways to read a book, do long division, or sit at a desk. There are better ways of doing things. Ways that lead to academic progress.

Slow and sure may win the race, but I often work with students who are behind and need to catch up. They need to accelerate their progress. They need help, and often want help. They just don't always want to change.

That's why they need a change agent: a catalyst for improvement.



Recently one of my daily reading groups read a poem by Emily Dickinson. Here it is:

Fame is a bee

Fame is a bee.
It has a song—
It has a sting—
Ah, too, it has a wing.

After several minutes of discussion, I was able to help my students reach personal epiphanies: this poem is not mainly about bees. What?!

They made connections: Britney Spears, for example. It was fun to watch.




Several days later I composed a poem in the general style of "Fame is a bee" that captures a lesson I've taught many times this year. My poem is called, "Progress is a new horse." The kids loved it. They applauded. Ah shucks. Here it is:

Progress is a new horse.

On the road of progress,
I find my old horse is dead.
It doesn’t carry me where I want to go.

But I love my old horse.
It’s the way I’ve always done things.
I hate to admit I’m riding a dead horse.

On the road to progress,
New horses are waiting to be ridden,
Horses recommended by previous owners.

Progress is a choice of horses.

* * * *

(Last weekend my wife and I took a weekend trip to a timeshare called San Clemente Inn. We drove down on a Friday and returned on a Monday. I took pictures.)

Redefining Success...

Recently I read a quote regarding the true meaning of success. (I can't find the blog, but I remember the quote, so I looked it up. It was written by a woman named Bessie Stanley. It is sometimes attributed to Emerson, but the above link sorts that all out.) The quote is actually a poem:



Success

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded. "

I like pithy sayings: proverbs, axioms, general systems laws, rules-of-thumb. This quote is a bit longer than that, but then success is a complex subject.

I teach kids. I teach kids who struggle to be average in academics. The grades they earn are often less than gratifying. Some work hard just to be below average rather than "failing." Have these kids succeeded? And will they be successful?



Part of what I teach these kids is that their worth and success is not measured by grades on a report card. That's not what matters the most. I inculcate a deeper measure of self-worth or success. Are you kind? caring? pleasant? hard-working? These issues of character are more important than grades now, or dollars earned later. Success in life is measured much differently. But how?

That's why I like the quote. It resonates with me. It also validates my life and beliefs. It validates a life many might think of as inconsequential or ordinary.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "God must have loved the ordinary people. He made so many of them."

Fame and fortune are noticeably missing from Stanley's definition. I like that. But something else is missing from the quote: God's view of success.

One of my favorite sayings from the Bible is a nugget found in the often overlooked book of Micah. It reads, "He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you? But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?"

Do justly... love kindness (mercy)... and walk humbly with your God? (Not the three top requirements one might guess God would highlight.) The first two correlate to Stanley's poem, but the third transcends it.



At different times in my life I've struggled with the question, "What does God want me to do with my life? What does He want me to become?"

In struggling with that question I often beat myself up for not "making the most" out of my life. I have not striven for notoriety, money, fame, titles, or degrees. Had I aimed too low? Had I sold out for something lesser than what God wanted me to be?

Then I came to a realization: I can quit apologizing to God for why I'm not what He never asked me to be. Most of my self questioning was based on someone else's definition of success, not God's.

Micah gives me some simple direction regarding a more meaningful measure of success. And that helped.



More help was found as I read the New Testament. It provided me an unexpected emphases on what really matters in life. I read...

One of them, a lawyer, asked him (Jesus) a question, testing him. "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?"

Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. A second likewise is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."

The greatest commandment? the chief requirement? "...love the Lord your God..." and "...love your neighbor as yourself." (Not the commandments anyone was expecting to be highlighted by Jesus, but they were.) Loving your neighbor as yourself certainly covers Stanley's points. Loving the Lord your God covers Micah's. "...walk humbly with you God" -- that's love.

Stanley, Micah, and Jesus all offer words to consider. They offer alternative assessments of what really matters in life and how we need to define success.