Thanksgiving: True Love

A few days ago, on a blog called One Minute Writer, there was a prompt called First Day. The posters were asked to recall something about a first day. I didn’t respond in writing to that prompt, though I considered it.

This morning, as I was waking up, I thought about the Thanksgiving holiday. What I am most grateful for is Leslie, my wife. I am so thankful that I have the prospect of a future that includes such a well-suited companion, friend, and wife.

I remember the day in December more than a decade ago, when I had a “first day” worth remembering. It was the day that I discovered that Leslie loved me, and that I truly loved her back. The Princess Bride may be a modern day fairy tale, but dreams do come true, and sometimes in life, you even get second chances.

Leslie and I had both been happily married, but both had been widowed. My cousin Buffy caught the wonder of our marriage in a poem called,

A Wedding Prayer

As you start your life together
Through the grace of God, a second chance
For the love and for the laughter
And for the knowing glance.

May your love shine bright forever.
Your two souls entwined in dance.
And your happiness be boundless
Through the grace of God, a second chance.



Happy Thanksgiving. (I have Thursday and Friday off. Woo hoo!)

The Princess Bride: True Love, part two

Greetings!

Salutations!

Well, aren’t we Biblical today?

Indeed we are. Very Pauline.

Are we doing the Bible today?

No, I have one more Princess Bride quote for you. I might do the Bible on Sundays. We’ll see.

Okay, what’s the Princess Bride quote-of-the-day?

Here it is…

Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Wait a minute! We’ve already done this dialogue. Have you lost your mind?

Not at all. But I’ve done a disservice to Buttercup, and I aim to remedy it.

Okay, I’ll play along. What gives?

Well, I pointed out how Westley gives us a manual for showing love to others: the re-spelling love principle.

Yes, I recall it well. You’ve helped make me a better spouse, parent, and friend. I’ve tried it. It works.

Indeed it does work, but in stressing Westley, I underplayed the importance of Buttercup.

Do tell.

Westley may be the initiator, the pursuer, and the mastermind, but all is in vain unless…

Unless what?

Unless the more amazing thing happens.

And what is that?

The day Buttercup realizes she truly loves him back.

Ahh. Good point.

Good point indeed. Without Buttercup’s love, all we have is a recipe for infatuation, unrequited love, or a stalking. Nothing works unless the love is truly mutual. That’s true love. A lot of things can be missing or less than optimal in a relationship, but the mutual love? That’s foundational and essential.

Once again you’ve illuminated me. I’ve seen this pattern, but hadn’t been able to put my finger on it. Some of the most unlikely relationships flourish, and now I suspect it is as you say, they truly love each other.

Buttercup completes the duet. Without her, Westley is singing solo. Both halves are needed for the new whole. I wouldn’t have been accurate in describing True Love if I neglected to share Buttercup’s half.

Hmmm… so in all these relationships I’m seeking to foster, it takes two to tango?

Indeed it does. That’s what the Grandpa was doing: he was wooing, and in the end, my guess is that the grandson, one day will realize…

The Princess Bride: What are our assets?

Hey!

Back at ya.

So how was the trip to the airport?

I had fun storming the castle.

Nice.

Thought you’d like that.

So, another nugget for today?

I’ll let you be the judge of that, but yes, I have another couple of lines for your consideration. Here they are…

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley: And our assets?
Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?

That’s more than a couple of lines.

I’m feeling generous today, but I’m going to zero in on Westley’s superb problem-solving intellect.

Really? How so?

Well, now here’s a man who’s been mostly dead all day, not really at the top of his game, but he is able to see what others don’t in the midst of a difficult situation.

What does he see?

He sees assets where most people only see incidentals.

Explain.

Life is difficult. Full of problems. Inigo sum’s up the bigger problems in this tale, but it is Westley who finds a solution. He finds it by digging deep not just into the liabilities – everyone does that – but he digs deeper into what are our assets. The world is full of people who only see the problems. They don’t see the solutions that are hidden amongst the incidentals.

But Westley does?

Precisely. He is the archetypical Creative-Problem-Solver: optimistic yet realistic, panoramic yet detailed, a planner and a doer. He’s special.

So how does that help us?

We look, we learn, and we imitate. Many study those who’ve failed and seek to avoid their mistakes. Westley provides a short-cut: study those who’ve succeeded and imitate them.

An interesting approach, I agree.

And worth trying.

The Princess Bride: Have fun storming the castle!

Hey Buddy! You’re up early. What’s up?

Oh, I’m up on important business.

Really? Do tell.

I’m taking my sister to the airport.

Important business?

Well, it’s important to her.

Ahh… So it is. So it is.

Now what you are you smiling about?

I just thought of another line from The Princess Bride, the one that I probably use the most.

Some gem of philosophy so early in the day?

Nah. Most of the time I’m really more playful than philosophical. Sometimes both at the same time.

Okay. I’ll bite. What’s the line?

It’s the line I’ll use as we part company. As you go off on your “important” business I’ll say, “Have fun storming the castle!”

Cute, but what’s the context?

The line fits into life quite often, but its context in the movie is after a visit to Miracle Max’s hovel. Westley has been brought by his two friends to Miracle Max. Westley has been tortured to death, and he is in desperate need of a miracle.

Yikes! Torture? That’s mean.

Very mean. It’s a many-faceted movie. But funny throughout.

Torture and funny?

It’s a complex movie. Anyway, after Max and his wife create a chocolate-covered Miracle Pill to help save Westley, the trio of friends go out the door leaving Max and his wife behind. The three friends are in league to help save Buttercup and achieve revenge for Inigo’s murdered father. In order to do so, they must overcome the defenses of a well-guarded castle. The line belongs to Max as he shouts encouragement from his door, “Have fun storming the castle!”

This is your most-used line?

Yes, indeed.

Hmmm… I think about that later. For now, I’ve got to run. I’m due over at my “chauffeur’s” job. See you later.

See you later. “Have fun storming the castle!”

Tssss… I will. I will.

The Princess Bride: True Love!

Hello friend!

Back at ya.

Good to see you again.

Likewise.

You bring more of The Princess Bride?

Yes, indeed. I’ve brought you an exquisite piece of dialogue. Maybe two.

Really?

Yes, are you ready?

As ready as ever…

Okay then, here it is…


Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Hmmm… At least you’re giving me three lines today.

You speak. I listen. I brought you 50% more dialogue than yesterday. Do you like it?

Well, at least I understand this portion. It’s two people saying, “I love you.”



That’s all you see?

What? There’s more?

There certainly is. Westley shows people everywhere how to cultivate true love!

You’re kidding? By filling something with water?

No, of course not, but you’re not far off.

How so?

He’s illustrating the principal of re-spelling love.

What?

He’s showing us simpletons that each person spells love differently. Buttercup spelled love, “Listen to me. Do the few simple things I ask.” Westley acted, and he summed up his action in his words, “As you wish.”

How does that help me?

Well, you have people you wish to show your love?

Of course.

Well, how do they spell love?

Oh, I think I begin to see. My children spell love, T I M E. My spouse spells love, R E G A R D M E. You spell it, T H I N K W I T H M E.

At last you see!

So this movie is a love manual?

Indeed it is.

Westley is the one who teaches us this?

Just partly. He’s a ruse, the real love story isn’t in the book, it’s in the movie!

What?


In the movie there’s a book, The Princess Bride. A grandfather is reading the book to his emotionally distant grandson. The grandson is home in bed, the grandfather is reading the book to him.

Oh. And you’re trying to tell me that the real love story is not in the Westley/Buttercup tale?

No. It’s in the Grandfather/Grandson relationship.

Really?

Well, here’s how the movie ends. You be the judge…



The Grandson: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
Grandpa: As you wish.

The Princess Bride: You are wonderful!

It seems I’ve struck a chord with some of my readers via The Princess Bride. I’m glad, because I’d already remembered a few more mental nuggets, so here goes…



You’re back again?

Sure am.

Are you still on that Princess Bride trip?

Oh, yeah. That movie rocks!

Well, I was under-whelmed by your first example, but I’ll play along. What have you got for me today?

You are a great friend, just listen to this superb dialogue…

Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.

That’s it? Two lines? Are you stingy or what?

Me, stingy? Not at all. I’m economic. Why give you more than you need? The beauty is in the brevity. Don’t you see it?

Perhaps not. Illuminate me.

Well, maybe I cheated you a little. This snippet is taken in the midst of a great fencing duel between Inigo and the Man in Black. Inigo has been practicing and studying fencing for over 20 years. He recognizes the brilliance of a superior swordsman: the Man in Black.

And that’s your point?

Not at all. The profundity is not just in Inigo’s recognition of superb human achievement, but in the Man in Black’s acknowledgment and explanation.

I see the acknowledgment, but I seem to be missing any explanation. He simply says, “I’ve worked hard to become so.”

Ahh, you do see it! How does one arrive at a pinnacle of achievement? One must work hard. Here our philosopher-protagonist slays in two sentences the demons of self-importance and instant-gratification!

He does?

Certainly. He is wonderful in his art, but simply says, “Thank you.” He is a master of his craft, but lays out the simple map of his journey, “I have worked hard to become so.” What genius!

Well, I’m still not sure if I see what you see, but you are, as usual, intriguing. You have more examples?

I do. We shall talk more… perhaps tomorrow.


(These dialogues are based on a similar technique practiced by the author of Godel, Escher, Bach: Eternal Golden Braid. I steal freely. He copied Socrates. I copy him copying Socrates.)

Epiphanies from The Princess Bride: The Fire Swamp

Visiting someone’s blog yesterday, I noticed that one of their favorite movies is The Princess Bride. I love that movie, so I’ve invented a dialogue to begin to explain why…

The Princess Bride? I love that movie!

Why?

Because I’ve learned so much from it?

You must be a simple guy, learning things from a movie.

You misunderstand: it’s a very deep movie.

How so?

Well, let me give you a snippet of mind-bending dialogue from the movie as Buttercup and Westley are about to enter the deadly Fire Swamp:

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

There you go: Mind-bending!

Hello?

Don’t you see? Westley is addressing the concept of artificial limits. He’s summed up the philosophy of the Wright Brothers, the world record breakers (think 4 minute mile), and even I-have-a-dream Martin Luther King Jr.

Really?

Yes. He’s delusionally optimistic. He’s a shatterer of paradigms. He’s a genius! And he did it all as a fictional character. Unbelievable!

Yes, dear. Truly unbelievable.